Updated: Jan 30, 2021
I wanted to post something you had already shared with strangers exploring the unsuspecting corners of Philadelphia. It was so beautiful & pure & could move hearts when you put it out there.
Maybe, if I had published that blog & anonymously quoted you at a certain earlier time, it would have been a cry for help. It would have been a snapshot of a girl in her vulnerability.
But posting it now, it would be sensationalizing an experience I used to be more attached to, desecrating its pureness. What message does that send the artist? Is nothing sacred anymore?
My dad told me when I was a teenager that just because you put random things on a paper doesn't make it art. I try to catch myself on my bullshit, but every once in a while, it slips away from me. I suspect some attributes are fleeting desperation for inspiration or attention.
It's okay to be burnt out. It's necessary to be aware of your own burnout to rein yourself back in. When I have too much screen time & lend my energy to too many people with whom I don't feel the deepest connection, I find myself slipping away. Sometimes, the awareness is there – you feel the anxiety building up & your creative potential dwindling – but your physical body is too caught up in the hypnosis. Listen to me very carefully (I don't know more than the next person, but we do share similar experiences of the world & our psyche – maybe there's something honest that can resonate):
Stop that inner voice the moment
you hear it reprimanding you
for not following your gut.
You might interpret this lack of action as laziness. You can reinterpret it – give it new meaning.
If you struggle against yourself,
you create dissonance.
Be on your team. You deserve to feel supported.
You might fail to shift your eyes from the blue light.
to keep your fingertips from scrolling
to move your body from the position it settled in
to move yourself from the disposition you settled in
No one grows feet at a time. Just keep watering your garden. Love the seeds through their development. Embrace the earth. Gratitude is a powerful skill. Keep training.